The M & M Comedy Hour

I love my children so much. They continue to crack me up daily. Here are some of the funnier moments:

We went to dinner with some friends the other night. They have a very precocious four year old, Emery, who is my daughter’s best friend. We are eating Chinese food around a large round table. Emery’s mother, Sarah, is pregnant so there has been a lot of talk about babies and where babies come from. Without any warning, Madison asks the question not yet asked, “How did that baby get in Ms. Sarah’s tummy?” The table goes silent. This is it. This is the moment we’ve been practicing for. It’s the sex talk for a four year old in a Chinese restaurant with a lot of people close by. Before I could think what to say, Emery says, “That is an excellent question Madison!” She actually folds her hands in front of her face and continues, “You see, there is a sperm and an egg. The two come together and do this dance and then the baby is made. You have to have an egg and you have to have a sperm. You can’t just have an egg or just have a sperm. And that is how a baby is made inside Mommy’s tummy.”

Total and complete silence prevails.

Madison rolls this explanation around in her brain a minute, while she chews on some cantaloupe.

“No, that’s not how it works” she says.

“Yes, it is” says Emery.

“No, it really isn’t. You see if the mommy swallows a black watermelon seed, she has a black baby and if she swallows a white watermelon seed, she gets a white baby. You see to get to your tummy, you go through the mouth.”

The total and complete silence is now broken by the hysterical laughter of the older couple at the next table. Fortunately, we began breathing again at this exact moment.

Check, please!