Good Bye to a Decade

Wow!  It is New Year's Eve 2010 and it just occurred to me the decade is coming to a close.  Never in a thousand years could I have dreamed how full my life would be at age 37 or the ways my life has changed in 10 years.  I think I remember my mother saying she felt the same way on December 31, 1979.  I am thankful for the few minutes of quiet that I have right now to reflect on the last 10 years and the opportunity for it all to sink in.  I've come a long way, Baby!  And I am forever grateful for the ride!  Here are the highlights.

2000 - I moved from Hattiesburg, Ms to Austin, TX to be with my love.  We combined our 3 bedroom homes into 1, making for a very full garage.  I went to work for Tramex Travel and learned what sales is all about.  I worked hard and my "drive" began to show.  I traveled to all sorts of exciting places and loved every minute.

2001 - I spent 10 days in France, my first and only trip over the Pond, with my Tramex manager and very good friend, Becky.  Kim and I planned an 8 day trip to Disney World that nearly didn't happen when 9/11 happened.  I thought my career in travel was over after so many people died at the hand of evil.  The whole world watched as airplanes were used as weapons.  I couldn't imagine that anyone would travel again.  9/11 was so personal to me because my industry went up in smoke before my very eyes.  We did take that trip to Disney World, which was incredible.  Little did we know this would be one of the last trips we would take alone.

2002 - Kim and I became certified foster parents and mothers to Brie.  Just before Brie came home to us, Kim and I took a 7 day cruise out of Florida on Royal Caribbean.  It was WONDERFUL!  We dozed by the pool everyday, reading books and people watching.  Kim and I were head over heels in love with Brie and I thought she would be with us forever, but I was wrong.  Brie taught us how to be great moms, which was a good thing because Madison was on her way.  3 days later, I lost my grandfather.  I love you, Pop.

2003 - We continued fostering and began the process to adopt Maddie.  I continued working harder than hard at the travel agency and set my sights high for big money and huge groups.  I had my first taste of financial success with my first mega group.  I learned more about myself through the creation of this group than I ever learned about travel.  I am so thankful for the opportunity to grow. We joined Parenting Across Color, a support group for families like ours. While blow drying my hair one day, I heard God tell me our family would be a light unto the world for race relations in America.  Kim thought I was crazy.  I wondered what it meant. 

2004 - I changed agencies and was promptly sued - more opportunities for personal growth.  I was setting huge goals for myself professionally.  I began to dream bigger dreams and started to believe I could probably do most anything.  We traveled and cruised and finalized Maddie's adoption.

2005 - This was the year I decided to start my own business.  Kim and I gave birth to Signature Journeys.  Little did I know the economy and the industry would tank even more.  We had the highest of hopes, but the outlook wasn't good.  Leave it to me never to give up. We met Rosie O'Donnell on the R Family Vacations cruise.  So much fun!

2006 - Working like a dog to keep Signature Journeys afloat.  This was a hard year.

2007 - McKenzie arrives!  I fell head over heels in love with Kenzie and knew in an instant she had to be mine.  I am so profoundly thankful for this baby.  Signature Journeys was dying but our family was growing.  We moved into the house of our dreams and I swore I would be buried in the backyard.  I love this house!  I also began meeting with my friend and fellow writer, Cheryl, every Thursday morning for 2 hours to write.  More dreams were taking shape and the personal growth was astounding.  I am so thankful for that time with Cheryl.  What a blessing!

2008 -   Biggest surprise of our lives - Morgan!  We thought our family was complete with 2 kids but God wasn't done with us.  I can't imagine life without her!  Signature Journeys breathed it's last breath and Morgan's arrival gave me the chance to re-prioritize my life.  I took on a few odd jobs to bring in some money and Brown Babies Pink Parents was coming to life.  I became more involved in writing and blogging, realizing more and more that I had something to share with the world.  Maybe that message had something to do with black vs white.

2009 - More odd jobs and trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life.  A new baby came into our lives who I thought would stay forever, but we were just a stepping stone for her.  Much of the year was spent trying to juggle 4 kids, a full time job, and everything in between.  Someone very wise suggested I finish that book I was always talking about and then possibly turn Parenting Across Color into a non-profit. I figured, why not? Parenting Across Color was incorporated in December 2009.

transracial families at the same time.  It has been a super busy year and I am absolutely exhausted on December 31, 2010 at 6:01 Pm.

I do have a message to share.  I have an important message to share about peace and healing and love.  I can hardly wait to see what 2011 has in store for me.  I wish you and yours a very happy new year.  I look forward to sharing more adventures with you from my wild and crazy life. 

Happy New Year!!!

Merry Christmas!

It is 9:17 Pm on Christmas night and the kids are finally asleep.  I am exhausted, having had the most wonderful Christmas in recent memory.  My parents flew in from Georgia yesterday and were able to be part of Christmas morning.  The girls woke up at 6 Am, despite being told last night they could not come downstairs before 7.  Of course, I used to get my parents up at 3 and 4 in the morning on Christmas so, really, why am I complaining?  Anyway, we spent about an hour opening presents.  I absolutely delighted in watching the children tear through gifts!  There were barking dogs, new clothes, books, dolls, toys, and finally - the bikes.  Madison actually learned how to ride a 2 wheeler in about 10 minutes in 25 degree weather!  I am so proud of every one of them!  It has been a fantastic day with great food, naps, Mom and Dad, no schedule, and my family.  I am so incredibly blessed. 

Do you know the Christmas song about the red shoes for the dying mother?  I am not a big fan of the song but I thought of it in Sam's the other day while waiting in line for a hot dog.  Kim was checking out and I was in line for lunch. McKenzie and Madison ran between us with the expected excitement and enthusiasm of children just before Christmas.  Each of them came over to me and gave a hug or other expression of love.  I gave them each a squeeze.  I remember McKenzie telling me she loves me, which is a fairly regular ocurance.  For some reason, I turned slightly and the man standing behind me caught my eye.  He was a total stranger.  A middle aged white man in slacks and a dress shirt with his collar unbuttoned. 

"They really love you," he said.

Startled, I turned toward him and said, "Yes they do."

"I mean they really love you and I bet it isn't just at Christmas," he speculated.

"Yes, they do.  I am a lucky lady."

Isn't it amazing how a few words from a stranger can warm your heart and bring all the chaos of shopping while unemployed, preparing for the holidays, and school holidays into focus? I will always remember the man from Sam's the week before Christmas. 

Merry Christmas to all of you reading these words.  I hope you have had a day filled with the ones you love.  I told a friend earlier today - I am exhausted, stuffed, and broke.  I wish you the same!

Happy Birthday Bubba!

33 years ago today, one of the greatest loves of my life was born.  Of course, I didn't know it at the time.  Looking back, I remember my mother being pregnant for what seemed like forever.  Our family moved from Georgia to North Carolina while Mom was great with child.  We lived in the Holiday Inn for a month or a year (I don't really remember which) with a cat while waiting for the house to be ready for move in.  I remember Mom going to the hospital early and getting to eat out with Dad on a more frequent basis.  And then finally, after years of waiting (not really), Mom delivered a man child named Carl.  My Gran came to stay with me while Mom and Dad busied themselves at the hospital.  I clearly remember waiting in the lobby next to the elevator for Mom to come home with the new baby.  There wasn't a chair in sight and I had to stand with Gran for, again, what seemed like forever to a 4 year old.  Suddenly, the elevator doors opened and a nurse wheeled my mother into the lobby.  She stopped in front of me so I could see him.  Mom carefully pulled back the blanket and I immediately wanted a do-over!  He was nothing like I expected and I couldn't believe I had waited so long for that!

Carl annoyed me for most of my childhood, as all good brothers are required to do.  I remember Gran warning me that my face could possibly freeze in such an ugly scowl if I remained so irritated with him.  At some point, Carl joined the Boy Scouts and actually tied a knot that kept me trapped in my bedroom for many, many hours while Mom and Dad were away for a Saturday.  And did I mention he sang ALL the time?  Oh yes.  The neighbors used to tease they always knew what time it was when they heard Carl singing at top volume as he walked home from the bus stop.  The kid made me crazy! 

And then suddenly, we grew up.  He was in high school and I was working at the travel agency when he needed to take the SAT test in Biloxi at the crack of dawn on a Saturday.  I offered to go to the Coast with him and spend Friday night in a hotel so he could take the test early the next morning.  I can't remember if we took his all-terrain-Corsica or my car, but I remember we sang along with the Cranberries and INXS the whole way there.  Once at the hotel, we sat by the pool and just talked.  I realized he was a person - an amazing person.  I made a friend in my brother. 

Carl was the second person I told I was gay.  The funny part is he didn't believe me.  We were delivering Christmas boxes to the needy in his Chevy truck (don't even get me started on teaching him how to drive a stick shift!) when I burst into tears and told him I was gay.  It took a few minutes of convincing before he got it.  I kept telling him how happy I was and he said in the classic Carl style, "Well you don't look very happy with all those tears."  He offered to come with me to tell Mom and Dad.  I knew in that moment he was the greatest love (parental figures not counting) I had ever known until many years later when I became a mother. 

Carl is my brother, my friend, my cheerleader, song leader, court jester, and loving witness to my life.  He is the funniest person I have ever known.  In addition to being brilliant, he is also an amazing father and gentle giant.  I am profoundly thankful for this angel in my life and I am so happy to celebrate this day in honor of Carl's arrival on Earth.  I cannot imagine my world without him and I don't even want to try.  Happy Birthday Bubba!